The other day I posted this picture on my tumblr which I found on Post Secret this week with the question: do you think having your husband/partner/significant other(s) take out the garbage is unfeminist?
All of the answers that I got were of the “hell no” variety.
What I found interesting about this “secret” is that the sender felt it necessary to qualify the statement with “I’m definitely a feminist” as if having your husband take out the garbage would make this person not a feminist.
This got me thinking about why having your husband/partner/etc. take out the garbage might possibly be considered unfeminist. Chores are traditionally, stereotypically thought to be the woman’s territory. But stereotypically men take out the garbage and mow the lawn. So this is maybe why this person thought that having her husband take out the garbage was unfeminist…
But I don’t think that it has to be unfeminist, and neither do the people who responded to my question. I think that the important distinction is that it could be unfeminist if someone assumes that the husband will take out the garbage because he is the man and that the wife will do all the other chores around the house because she is a woman. I think that it is important to discuss what is expected of each person in the relationship when it comes to household duties and why each person should be doing those duties. The important thing is the communication about what is expected.
For example, if someone does the cooking, then maybe the other does the dishes. This doesn’t have to be the case, but discussing what is expected of each partner for the household duties is, I think, an important part of a feminist relationship. It shouldn’t just be assumed that one partner is going to do certain chores because that is what is expected of women and men. And it also shouldn’t be expected that one person will do all the chores, household duties should be shared, even if it is on a rotating basis. Taking care of the space that you live in together as a communicating team, I think, is important to building and maintaining a strong relationship.
*I should note that I have never been in a relationship where we have lived together, these observations are more from looking at my parents’ relationship and the experiences of friends and their families.
Womanist Musings: Emily Blunt Makes Disability Fashionable
Crutches are not a fashion statement; they are a mobility aid. There is nothing chic about crutches because they help to mark a persons body as faulty to the outside world, due to our understanding of disability. Crutches mean limited access, and exposure to disableism, therefore the idea that they can enter a fashion shoot in the same way as a pretty dress or a nice pair of shoes is highly offensive.
Autostraddle: Why Taylor Swift Offends Little Monsters, Feminists, and Weirdos
However, before I brought it up again (especially this late, as the backlash-to-the-backlash part is over and we’re now in the Valley of WhoCares, which is clearly where I “thrive”), I knew I had to do my Taylor Swift due diligence. After reading that MTV article I did it: I listened to her music, read her blog, and watched her videos.
And I finally figured it out.
Taylor Swift is a feminist’s nightmare.
Women & Hollywood: Pondering the Bigelow Nomination in Larger Context
The reason why I want to talk about it is because I think that no matter how much Ms. Bigelow doesn’t want to talk about the gender implications in her nomination, they are everywhere. I heard them when I was listened to the Oscar Talk podcast when Kris Tapley called her “hot” and Anne Thompson said that she’s not 100% convinced she will win because the Academy is “overwhelmingly male and she just doesn’t trust them.”
Clarissa’s Blog: Why I Dislike Third-Wave Feminism
Unfortunately, the excellent intentions of third-wave feminists are completely undermined by the statement (from the same blogger I quoted before) that “third-wave feminism respects the choices of everyone.” After a very short discussion, it always comes out that these feminists do not really support any kind of choice on the part of everybody. People who abuse others, racists, chauvinists, ableists, and xenophobes make all kinds of vile choices, and obviously third-wave feminists do not support those choices.
As some of you may have noticed, I had a little problem this weekend. My blog was hacked and I couldn’t even get into my dashboard. But thanks to the amazing meloukhia, my blog is back and almost entirely squared away. I still have to work on the sidebars a little bit and address some minor things here and there. But all in all, I’m back.
And I know I didn’t get to do a Wednesday link love this week as I was busy on Wednesday in addition to not feeling too well. So here’s an extra long link love for the entire week!
Zero at the Bone: The Thirteenth Carnival of Feminists
Equality 101: Thoughts on the “Politics of Correction”
“How can I help kids gain fluency in Standard English – the language of power – without obliterating the home language which is a source of pride and personal voice?” – Linda Christensen
Gender Across Borders: Welcome to the Hip Hop, Resistance, and Feminism Series
This series focuses on hip hop and its interactions with patriarchy, racism, and other forms of oppression — both within and outside the mainstream pop world. From Nicki Minaj and gender-bending to resistance movements in Mali, this series reveals the varying faces and voices of hip hop.
I’ve really enjoyed this series from Gender Across Borders and this “welcome” post has links to all of the posts in the series, so make sure to check them all out!
Girl W/Pen: POP GOES FEMINISM: Deciphering Island Patriarchy: Finding Feminism in Lost
Lost has often presented ‘gender outside the box’ characters, suggesting being human is more important than being a masculine man or a feminine woman. After all, when you are fighting for your life, ‘doing gender right’ is hardly at the top of you priority list.
Small Strokes: On Body Image: Men and Advertising
Men suffer from body image issues just as women do, often as a direct result of the bombardment of images from the media. You’ve got your total binary here: men in commercials, movies, and TV shows are either super awesome ladies’ men with washboard abs and sweet sports cars or doofy husbands incapable of doing much of anything.
this ain’t livin’: Feminism and Veronica Mars
I recently re-watched Veronica Mars, and happened to mention that I was doing so to Anna, and she said something along the lines of “all I learned from Veronica Mars was feminists who fake rapes.” Which, to be fair, cuts at a very serious problem I have with the show: The depiction of feminists and feminism.
Sociological Images: Are the New Disney Princesses Feminist?
One of the compliments aimed at the new Disney movie, The Princess and the Frog, is that the heroine isn’t just a pretty face, but in fact an entrepreneur who wants to open her own restaurant and is uninterested in catching a man. This observation was made to me, for example, when I was interviewed for a story by CNN reporter Breenana Hare, who suggested that this new princess was making a break with the old princesses in more than one way.
Booze. Tv. Food.: A SLAT Drinking Game
I have had a wicked cold the past week or so, which has prevented me from one of life’s greatest joys: pairing booze with Secret Life of the American Teenager. So in lieu of actually boozing along to this week’s episode, I’ll just have to fantasize about it. But feel free to take my suggestions, and if you live through the experience, well, mazel, your liver is impressive.
Clarissa’s Blog: The Economist Invents Its Own Feminism
Who would go to The Economist to find out about the latest trends in feminism? Nobody in their right mind, of course. When this kind of magazine comes up with its own perspective on feminism, the result is hilarious.
feministhemes.com: Liz Lemon: Feminist or Not?
I had revered Tina Fey as a feminist role model until I started doing a little research and kept getting stuck when trying to put together a 10 Reasons for her. I’m willing to admit that I’ve made some stretches in the feature before in finding quotes to support the theory that so-and-so is a feminist role model, but Tina was tough. I found (and continue to find) myself wondering why I had been operating under the assumption that Tina was a feminist – because she’s intelligent? Because she isn’t overtly and constantly sexual/ized? Because she wears glasses? I’m still not sure, but I’ve had trouble finding enough evidence to convince myself she’s a strong feminist role model (not that she needs to be one).
Gender Across Borders: Thoughts on covering up, slut-shaming, and the nature of masculinity
This is just another horrid example of blaming the victim. For example: “How does one not expect to get raped if she wears a mini-skirt?” Because, of course [insert sarcasm], when a woman chooses to wear revealing clothing, she is basically saying to the world, “Hey, please sexually assault me today!” WRONG. In other words, should a man be victim-blamed if he wears short, tight pants and then gets sexually assaulted?
Glossed Over: Bazaar: Bare Your Body to Boost the Economy
What is this “sexification,” and how do we know it’s occurring? I’ve read his article three times and I’m not exactly certain. But it has something to do with Megan Fox earning a lot of money as the face of Emporio Armani Underwear, Jenna Jameson wearing a tasteful blue frock on Oprah, and pop stars like Lady Gaga, Rihanna, and Shakira merely existing.
this ain’t livin’: Yes, Actually, I Can Make An Informed Choice
And it’s a trend which bears some exploration, because I think that it says a lot about feminism and the issues within the feminist movement.
It’s the idea that certain women don’t know what’s good for them. These women need to be told in no uncertain words about how to take care of their bodies, how to live their lives, how to interact with medical professionals, how to make decisions about their medical care. And, by extension, how to handle their disabilities.
a shiny new coin: Farwell Ten, allons-y Eleven
If you’re a terribly geeky Whovian like myself (if you want proof of exactly how geeky a Whovian I am: as I type this I’m wrestling with my kitten Gallifrey who wants to type too) you’ve already watched David Tennant’s finale in the role he was born to play, despite it not having aired in your country yet. Welcome to the online world BBC, what did you expect? (Oh, and ABC: three months?! You’re a bunch of wankers.)
Bitch Blogs: Jennifer Hawkins poses nude, “flaws” and all
Australian beauty queen and model Jennifer Hawkins appears nude and un-Photoshopped on the February cover of Marie Claire magazine. According to Hawkins, the photo shoot is meant to inspire confidence in women and raise money for an eating disorder support organization. Though her heart may be in the right place, Hawkins’ cover shoot just is diong the opposite of what she intended.
fbomb: The Lovely Bones
I read the book The Lovely Bones a few years after it came out. I was about fourteen and I couldn’t remember having ever read a book where the protagonist reminded me so much of myself, or at least somebody with a voice I could relate to. The protagonist, Susie Salmon, was the same age as I was, but all the other fourteen year olds being portrayed in books that I had read were usually vapid (uh, The Clique books, anyone?). The character of Susie Salmon was smart, compassionate and observant.
Well, it’s Christmas Eve and I’ll be running around all day. But here are some favorite posts from other blogs. Sorry that I’ve just been doing link love lately, but hopefully that will change after my work schedule calms down a little bit and I have some time to focus on posting.
PopMatters: When TV Became Art: What We Owe to Buffy
TV has become art, but that was achieved well before the first episode of The Wire and even before the advent of this decade. TV became art when what should have been the antithesis of art, a teen drama about a cheerleader who against her wishes was forced to become a vampire slayer, redefined what could be done in the context of popular television.
Feministing: Top Ten Wins for Women in 2009
Sometimes, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by all the bad news about women’s issues we hear on a daily basis. From large to small, this past year has definitely seen its share of setbacks and sorrows. But 2009 has also been a year of victories and successes, progress and growth for women and women’s movements internationally.
this ain’t livin’: The Magicians
I’m always excited to read adult books like this, where the author acknowledges and plays with the idea of magic and doesn’t do it in a self conscious or pretentious way. I love the fact that Grossman built on prior worlds to create an entirely new sort of world for us to enjoy; reading The Magicians felt like getting to the end of the garden, opening a gate, and realizing that I had actually only been in a tiny corner of a much larger garden than I ever could have imagined.
Broadsheet: Carrie Bradshaw: Feminist Icon?
Today, the “Sex and the City” protagonist was declared an icon of the decade by noted feminist author Naomi Wolf. And just this past weekend, the make-believe Manhattanite was blamed by Camilla Long of the Times for kicking off a revolution that has made women increasingly unhappy. To recap: As the decade comes to a close, a fictional sex writer is being credited with both improving and ruining things for real, live women.