Fighting with the Sky

Love the Way You Lie

Posted on: August 10, 2010

I don’t know how to feel about this song.  I would normally have an aversion to it just because it’s Eminem.  But is it trying to bring awareness to domestic violence or glorifying it?  And what about the fact that Rihanna, who was part of a largely publicized domestic violence assault, is the featured artist?  Or that Megan Fox donated her fee for appearing in the video to a domestic violence shelter?

Thoughts?

As a purely personal side note, when I was really disappointed in my dear, lovely Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) when I first heard that he was appearing in an Eminem video, and that was before I even had heard the song.  Dominic Monaghan and Megan Fox both actually did a good job in just acting the video, no matter what my conflicted thoughts on the subject matter are.

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5 Responses to "Love the Way You Lie"

I don’t…hate it.
It’s a depiction of a mutually abusive relationship. Clearly not healthy. BUT at the same time, it’s not uncommon for abusers to think and fully believe that they love their partner (I’m saying partner here because the video depicts both members as abusers and victims, and it doesn’t seem fair to put one in “victim” roles).

I don’t think it’s glorifying it. I don’t know if it’s an awareness-raising attempt, either. I do, however, think it’s pretty honest about the issue as people live it, and gets at why people stay involved in abusive relationships. The non-abusive moments are the ones that keep you from going over the edge into knowing it’s time to leave.

I do hate it. Maybe if this were the only thing we ever saw from Eminem I could look at it with unbiased lenses and see it as condemning mutually abusive relationships.

But with Eminem’s track record of misogyny the escalating threats culminating with “I’ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire” is not okay for a pop song. Not ironic. Not a message. It’s a threat.

I just fear young women listening to this song or watching this video and thinking that there is something romantic about the tragedy of abuse.

I think my problem is that I fall somewhere in between both of these viewpoints and I can’t figure out which way to go. I do think that there are some parts of the song/video that speak true to real relationships. There are good times in abusive relationships which keeps people from leaving and thinking that they can change, etc.

But then again, this is also Eminem, and we can’t just ignore everything else of his. We have to take the song in context of both Eminem and Rihanna.

And there are the moments of the song (like the part about setting the house on fire) that just make me cringe.

i love this song. Theres not romatic about what is going on in the sitution. To understand the video you have to truely listen to all that is being said and link it togther. they both know they should end this but they both cant,because he wants her back and she ‘loves the way he lies’,(tht hes going to change and wont ever do it again) so yeah she loves him. they’re both the same,hurting each other,no one’s worse than the other one. so it’s not just about women(in the video megan fox is represting a girl tht dosnt just sit back and competely excpets it she fights back to she is not weak),it’s also about men,how they feel (it’s not that she should go away,they should both go away from each other and stay away). But in a relationship like that it can be can be really hard to leave because there can b some kind of twisted attration to each other. There love is damanged and they both know that. But at the same time they have good momemts like at 2:40 that makes them both want to stay. Eminem tells viticms of domestic violence that there life istn a nintendo game meaning that they only have on chance at life. He says “nxt time.. but there wont be a next time.” because next time could be the end for them. “ima tie to the bed and set this house on fire”..eminem is a rapper that raps about life and things that happen in it and this is one of those things. this song is beautyful but very sad and emotinaly impacted at the same time. It is in no way glorifyin domestic violence it but just showing the events that happen. that may lead up to something terrblie like one of them dien. But at the same time if u dont truely listen to the words of the song it can be taken the wrong way.

Very inciteful…both from the comments, and the blog itself. KUDOS!!

As a person who HAS been in a relationship like this, I fully concur with Sophia’s observation…I spent almost 14 years living this sort of hell. Yes, there were great times…loving the way love is intended to be…and yes, there were horrifying times….with broken bones. It’s harder than anyone realizes to walk away from a situation like that, because, at least for me, the idea of leaving so many years behind is sometimes more frightening than the abuse itself.

Yes, I did finally escape…and spent the next several years doubting myself horribly. It took many years of intensive therapy to finally realize that alot of the abuse WAS my down doing, because I allowed it to happen. I am certainly a stronger person for it, but I will ALWAYS be on the edge of another relationship like it, because it’s very easy to fall back into. I now have to walk each day on guard against doing just that.

Currently, I’m remarried. Yes, we fight (nowhere near to the point I did with my first, but some days it can get close…tho he’s never come close to hitting me, and won’t). Some days, I could still class this as a “love-hate” relationship. I will probably always find myself allowing, to some extent, allowing my husband to control aspects of our relationship that he shouldn’t. Not always the right thing to do, but ah well…

That being said, the video itself is remarkably accurate on what it portrays, and should be commended for not “candy-coating” the reality of what a truly abusive life is like. I don’t particularly care for Eminem, or Rihanna either, for that matter….but they did a flawless job reaching the heart of the situation, and did alot of people a service by putting out a video in which others WILL recognize their own reality.

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