Fighting with the Sky

Why I don't listen to Theory of A Deadman

Posted on: September 7, 2009

This is a cross-post from Miss Wizzle at Miss Wizzle is a product of the Midwest suburbs and was raised to think for herself.  She never realized how important this upbringing was until she was transplanted into the Wild West and the like-minded community she grew up with became a distant memory.  After a couple years in the conservative west, she has developed a clearer idea of who she is, what she believes, and why she believes it.


If you watch Fuse at all, you’ve probably seen a video or two starring a guy who looks like that Emo-Elvis hybrid from Guitar Hero II.  This might be your first clue that this guy takes himself a little too seriously, and probably has a pretty high douchebag-quotient (or DQ).  But trust me, there is more evidence that this man and his band, Theory of A Deadman, are kind of a waste of space, and that they are full of hatred for women.

Take the following two videos for example:

Exhibit C

In case you can’t stomach it, the first line is “My girlfriend’s a dick magnet.” Good start, right?  The theme of the video is that lead singer’s girlfriend is a “nurse” who puts in plenty of overtime, but it turns out she’s really a naughty nurse at the stripclub!  And her boyfriend catches her stripping when he’s out with the guys!  And she’s a bad girlfriend!  Here’s the thing about Theory of a Deadman: it’s not their fault that they hate women so much.  Women are naughty, bad, and evil! If dude’s girlfriend was really a nurse, he could have gone to the strip club and had a good time while she was saving the world.  But she’s a dirty, filthy liar, and she embarrassed him in front of his friends, so its okay to hate her.

Of course, like all deep, thoughtful rock bands, there is a sensitive rock ballad that tells their side of the story in a more relatable way.

Exhibit D

In this video, dude destroys his penthouse because his bad girlfriend set him off about something, and then she *gasp* leaves him. The video consists of the destruction reversing itself and girlfriend coming back.  Choice lyrics: “It’s never enough to say I’m sorry, it’s never enough to say I care,” “It’s never enough to say I love you, it’s never enough to say I try,” and (personal favorite) “Nobody wins when everyone’s losing.” Essentially, she’s the bad guy here, even though he’s demonstrating a pretty significant amount of violent tendencies.  And a good girlfriend doesn’t leave her violent boyfriend, since he’s only violent because he loves her so much.

act-a-fu2Basically, the level of misogyny disguised as male victimization in the lyrics and videos of Theory of a Deadman is about enough to make you puke.

Besides, friends don’t let friends listen to bands whose lead singers have been photograped sporting the Fu Manchu.


4 Responses to "Why I don't listen to Theory of A Deadman"

i’m glad to have read this, given the amount of crap i’ve been getting for listening to Lil Wayne, despite the fact that misogyny and sexism aren’t exclusive to rap. whenever i mention rock music is full of this sort of thing, i get attacked. just because it’s “quieter” doesn’t make it better–in fact, that makes it worse!

I actually have a very different interpretation of bad girlfriend-she’s the one in charge of what she is or isn’t doing with anyone else “mess with her she’ll fuck you up” is the exact phrase used about guys trying to get more than she wants. She’ll fuck them up, not him. the speaker isn’t in charge of what she does, and he knows that and is okay with it. I also personally like the lack of jealousy shown, but I’m in an open relationship, and am always pro songs about relationships that aren’t about jealousy. the song isn’t negative at all-a lot of the lyrics are things like “leave alone, see you later back at home” She doesn’t embarass him, he’s clearly loving it-which doesn’t thrill me, but as I said before, she’s clearly in charge of what she does.

I used to listen to the song after a bad boy friend (coincidentally) turned me onto it. I really liked the lyrics I thought they were fairly over the top but verging on sex positive in a ‘sluts need it to’ kinda way.

The song is also nothing like the video. When I saw the video I was peeved. From the lyrics I expected to see a rocker chick ‘take no prisoners’ type, unabashed slut who shuts the bar down and sends her boyfriend home to wait for her.
The bad girlfriend from the song is a lone wolf type horny girl. The girlfriend from the video is a sex worker who is found out by her boyfriend. It has a shameful tone to it, the discovery… all the while the video is milking the stripper moves.

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