Fighting with the Sky

I Don't Want To Be a Hepburn or a Hilton

Posted on: August 18, 2009

Yesterday I heard about the book How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World by Jordan Christy. This book is all about how women nowadays are waaaay to accessible and that women should let men chase them instead of the other way around.

To me, this just sounds like the same old thing: the virgin/whore dichotomy. Men don’t want women they can get too easily (aka “whores” or women that are too accessible); men want the pure virgin that they have to fight for. Yawn. How many times have I heard this? It’s amazing that people still make money off of this tired thought

But what’s really amazing is that people still think that women have to be one or the other, one of two extremes: the virgin or the whore. Women can’t be anything but pure or dirty — there is no in-between space. As soon as women do the tiniest little thing that isn’t “pure,” they are automatically labeled a “whore” or “slut.”

This is no new thought. It’s just a shame that it’s still around. This unrealistic and oppressive dichotomy of virgin/whore is indoctrinated into women (and men) and functions to make women feel ashamed of themselves. If you are interested in learning more about this dichotomy, I suggest you read The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti.

Relationship advice books like How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World, thrive off of the continuation of this dichotomy. Relationship books are meant to make women feel ashamed of themselves or that they are less than. This makes their sales go up, because after all it is all about sales. If women feel bad about themselves, they are going to buy more dating books.

Further Reading:
To snap a man, let him do the chasing [Today Show]


2 Responses to "I Don't Want To Be a Hepburn or a Hilton"

Also I love how they encourage women to hate other women, reducing us to nothing more than 2 standards of differing but acceptable white western beauty, encouraging us to think that Hepburn is apparently the epitome of class that we should aspire to be, superior to all those 'trashy' Hilton type women. It seems we're only allowed to exist in a perpetual state of criticising ourselves and others.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people still think 1) that "men" of the currently influential generation want a virgin/whore archetype2) that anyone can get any picture of the pulse of U.S. America or anywhere else in the world by reading books published by Center Street.

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